How can we grow from a blissful 12 year old, infused with innocence, to an overweight, wheezing man; slouched like a beached whale in a chair? This is my current thinking. I keep dwelling on past flames, former mistakes, my looks over the years.
How can I have messed up so badly with the first boy I fell in love with? Is it weird that it’s been over a decade and I still think about him all the time? When he hurt me, I hurt him back in the worst way possible. It’s something I’ll regret for my entire life. To the point every helping of bad karma I’m dished out feels just. I don’t know why TK is on my mind today, but somehow he is.
One of my most cherished memories is a new year party we went to together and when the bells rang it was just us together. In that moment I could have looked at him forever. His blue eyes, he’s cute smile. That was the most romantic moment of my life and nothing sexual even happened. I guess in a way everyone I meet I’ll always compare to him.
Another short entry, fairly erratic too. If anyone would like to suggest a topic for me to write about tomorrow please comment below.