The internet’s great for a lot of things, but alas productive discussion isn’t one of them. In the wake of yesterday’s colossal political fuck up which saw us opt to leave the EU (well done, idiots) I’ve came to the conclusion that a lot of people should delete all forms of social media, close their laptop, and retreat to a corner where they should remain until their fallow lifespan finally concludes.
My timeline is bombarded with sheer idiocy and poor grammar. Facebook provides scant room for debate and infinite opportunities for fruitless point-scoring. “Aye well, my comment got 56 likes so my opinion trumps yours.” What could be a logical debate quickly rotted and became a “perfect storm” of perpetual bickering.
Literally it was all random heckling and people sharing political posts that they’d never read, or understood, before in their lives – bandwagons full please catch another.
Look, it’s ok if you’re not politically inclined or aren’t interested in politics or current affairs or, you know, the well fare of your future. I’m not judging you – not to your face anyway. I’d much rather those completely ignorant people never raised their opinion just stayed quiet. Because if you don’t know what you’re talking about you really shouldn’t interject – debating with some folk is like having nails made of out of frozen piss smashed against my skull. Stop trying to be exciting, or relevant. Go back to watching love island and getting that Friday feeling, you incessant sock puppet.
If technology is a drug – which it does feel like – then what, precisely, are the side-effects? I’ll tell you: Being forced to bear witness to witless prattle and having your patience worn thin by idiots, that’s the side effects. The moral in all this, of course, is that people should never attempt to communicate. Not publicly anyway; not at least before sitting some form of competency test.
Society? Can we trust us? Doubt it. Especially after yesterday. The majority just lapped up whatever bullshit they were fed and loved every single drop of it. You’re on the same side as Nigel Farage for Christ sake! Look at yourselves, you stupid parsnips. I’m genuinely praying that we aren’t even real. And that the Matrix was actually a documentary.
Here’s what the near future holds: Boris replaces that shiny robotic toe Cameron as PM. A brand new type of blundering idiot to lead us to certain disaster. Trump bludgeons Hilary to death with one of golf clubs and becomes president. Nicola launches a second bid for independence. The world festers for a bit, and then launches into all out war. I get a hair cut.
In summary, our planet is doomed.