As it currently stands, I am so angry I could spit. A sudden surge of undiluted rage that has, to my knowledge, no known origin has swept…… Read more “A brief insight into my farce of a weekend.”
1.) Whilst commenting on my friend’s unwillingness to hook up with anyone: “We should call you Blow Job *Larry, because you never, ever put out! Like when…… Read more “Things I’ve Learned That Are Not OK to Say to People.”
It’s not easy overcoming issues of insecurity regarding your body. Social media loves to make you envious of other people and their perfect bodies, rockhard abs and…… Read more “Unstable Calories: How I battled my eating disorder.”
For some reason I have always been attracted to pricks or people that are unattainable (for whatever reason.) If you ignore me at a social gathering, I’ll probably develop a crush on you. If you read my message and don’t reply, but then Tweet, I’ll notice that too and be further intrigued. As a result, I’ve been left with a tone of things I wish I had said and had done if I were braver/angrier/marginally crazier.
When I was around the age of ten, I decided I that I’d had enough of home life and the constant turmoil of primary school and decided to…… Read more “How to run away in your twenties.”
You’re looking at the guy who whilst having sex a few weeks ago started thinking that both of us would end in the same place at the end of our lives (the ground.) Obviously sensing my sudden disengagement, he asked if I was alright. Have you ever contemplated the mysteries of death and told someone during foreplay that you’re thinking about their one-day dead body? Don’t. It is a bit of a boner killer.
Recently it was the anniversary of the passing of my grandmother. I’m down two for two on the granny count and both of them passing has left…… Read more “Loss”
When I’m ill I’m as useless as a tube of sucked out smarties. I’ll start be serving up some apologies the blatant neglect this blog has been victim…… Read more “Melodramatic when ill”
I think everyone remembers their first crush. Overcome with a surge of emotion, a brand new emotion, that’s so strong it deviously disguises itself as love, when…… Read more “First Crush.”
So to adapt I had to muster from the lowest depths of my bowels the manliest bark possible, either that or simply stop talking. I chose the latter, as there was a period in my life where my voice was so high-pitched only dogs could hear me.