Sometimes I wish I could conjure up a stupidity whirlpool that'll engulf everyone around me, immediately flushing their existence away and thus sparing me another day of tedium.

The bad side of 25

To shave or not to shave? That was the question I batted back and forth for literally 45 minutes this morning. A mundane task that most men do half-asleep every morning, but for me this could be the gravest crisis since Jade Goody slagged off Shilpa Shetty on Big Brother. Why the massive hoo-ha over … Continue reading The bad side of 25

The pursuit of ha-penis.

Of late I have become that guy. You know, that guy? Yeah, that guy. A loveless tragedy that’s one heartbreak away from collecting cats. The one who somehow manages to hurl himself at the wrong blokes during the worst times. Chasing the guy that is just out of a relationship and thus will feed me any lie I want to … Continue reading The pursuit of ha-penis.

Fat, fem, Caucasian.

I wish people looked like their personalities, it would make finding someone so much easier, wouldn't it? Think of the time I’d save if I didn't have to sieve through galleries of fuck boys and stuck-up scene queens to find someone attractive who doesn't have the personality of a parsnip. It’s easy for me to say … Continue reading Fat, fem, Caucasian.