Whenever anything nice happens to me I always expect something appalling to happen immediately afterwards. This is the same for my mood. If I am in a good mood, a confident mood, or whatever, then I am simply waiting on that changing to something gloomier. One of the triggers for this sudden bitch-storm downpour is … Continue reading Learning to Love Myself.
It’s the weekend and I am stuck in hell. Hell, to me anyway, is a crowded bar or club. I can’t see past my hand and I’m bathed in a very unflattering neon-light. It might be dark, but I know I am surrounded by other people because I both smell and feel their sweaty bodies … Continue reading A Shot of Social Anxiety.
Reality: I am deeply dog-less and I am saddened by this fact for many reasons. Pets provide you with a certain comfort in times of need. If you have a dog then passers-by credit you with a certain amount of intellectual merit (when in truth I am little more than a lonely, barking lunatic.) They are … Continue reading Do I Want a Dog or a Boyfriend?
Addiction is something I’ve wrestled with from as far back as I can remember. There's been periods where I've felt as though I would never recover. Times that I was completely and utterly at the mercy of someone, or something, else. Throughout my life I’ve felt powerless to a situation, I’ve felt powerless to a … Continue reading My Struggle with Addiction (Go Sober.)
Today is World Suicide Prevention Day, but not many people know that. Partly because it isn’t really considered a suitable topic for casual conversation, as opposed to say a broken arm, and partly because a lot of people operate under the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ way of thinking. It’s a taboo subject, it's a hard subject … Continue reading Running Up That Hill – World Suicide Prevention Day
(I am completely aware that this title probably makes me sound like a middle aged woman.) There’s something weirdly pleasurable about seeing a past fling in the street. It’s like waiting on that second sneeze that never comes. It happened today and I couldn’t help but think ‘I wonder if he still wants to fuck?’ … Continue reading Why I’m now seeking intimacy over casual sex.
Telling someone how I’m feeling, really feeling, is equal parts simple and impossible for me. I wear my heart on my sleeve, I have always been this way, which is a trait that hasn’t always served me well. It isn’t hard to decipher my mood; people can always tell when somethings up. I wear my … Continue reading Fake – Expressing How I Feel Vocally & Why It’s So Hard.
The other night as I waited at the bar to be served, I noticed this girl was looking at me. No, not looking, growling. Not in an aggressive way, but more ‘you’re my pray’ kind of vibe. As though she was a lioness and I was the lamb. Keep in mind I am in a … Continue reading Slut Shaming
I am tired. I am exhausted. I am begging everyone to stay out of my emotional way. Every morning there is a blissful second of peace, of solitude. There is that moment before the daily terrors start. I long for this moment. I glance over at my phone and look at the mass amount of … Continue reading Sunshine Stealers