Reality: I am deeply dog-less and I am saddened by this fact for many reasons. Pets provide you with a certain comfort in times of need. If you have a dog then passers-by credit you with a certain amount of intellectual merit (when in truth I am little more than a lonely, barking lunatic.) They are … Continue reading Do I Want a Dog or a Boyfriend?
Recently it was the anniversary of the passing of my grandmother. I’m down two for two on the granny count and both of them passing has left an unfixable fracture in my life; a void that I doubt I’ll ever manage to fill. My granny Betty, the one whose anniversary it just was, passed when … Continue reading Loss
When I'm ill I'm as useless as a tube of sucked out smarties. I’ll start be serving up some apologies the blatant neglect this blog has been victim to over the last week, but I can assure you there were reasons. Anyway, I’m not apologising to you in particular, it’s more of a way of saying … Continue reading Melodramatic when ill
I think everyone remembers their first crush. Overcome with a surge of emotion, a brand new emotion, that’s so strong it deviously disguises itself as love, when really it was little more than infatuation. I know I’ll always remember mine, even though now it is little more than tiny memory dancing in the back of … Continue reading First Crush.
So to adapt I had to muster from the lowest depths of my bowels the manliest bark possible, either that or simply stop talking. I chose the latter, as there was a period in my life where my voice was so high-pitched only dogs could hear me.
Today marked the end of another chapter for me. It was my last day in my current store in my current role. Onward and upwards from here, I keep muttering to myself. As that’s all I can do as I continue this limp through adulthood and up the career ladder; just keep going. I got … Continue reading Hindsight is always 20/20
I feel that heartache serves a very potent and intense reminder that you’re still alive – and then subsequently makes you wish you weren’t. This is the first time I’ve felt anything close to a serious romantic connection with someone. I’m not meaning the ‘I’m kind of into you’ way, but more the variety of … Continue reading Hangovers & Heartbreak.
Because on Mondays you have a completely different voice in your head. Should I bump into a reflective surface I shall most certainly have a minor mirror meltdown: My skin is so oily America threatens to invade; my hair hangs there like a redish ironed curtain. My eyebrows underline my forehead, like hairy caterpillars, major issue because weak eyebrows = weak presentation. All the while I try and crack a glossy half-smile but wind up looking constipated.
The internet's great for a lot of things, but alas productive discussion isn't one of them. In the wake of yesterday's colossal political fuck up which saw us opt to leave the EU (well done, idiots) I've came to the conclusion that a lot of people should delete all forms of social media, close their … Continue reading Abandon ship, the idiots are winning #Brexit