Do I Want a Dog or a Boyfriend?

Reality: I am deeply dog-less and I am saddened by this fact for many reasons. Pets provide you with a certain comfort in times of need. If you have a dog then passers-by credit you with a certain amount of intellectual merit (when in truth I am little more than a lonely, barking lunatic.)  They are … Continue reading Do I Want a Dog or a Boyfriend?

Hangovers & Heartbreak.

I feel that heartache serves a very potent and intense reminder that you’re still alive – and then subsequently makes you wish you weren’t. This is the first time I’ve felt anything close to a serious romantic connection with someone. I’m not meaning the ‘I’m kind of into you’ way, but more the variety of … Continue reading Hangovers & Heartbreak.

Monday

Because on Mondays you have a completely different voice in your head. Should I bump into a reflective surface I shall most certainly have a minor mirror meltdown: My skin is so oily America threatens to invade; my hair hangs there like a redish ironed curtain. My eyebrows underline my forehead, like hairy caterpillars, major issue because weak eyebrows = weak presentation. All the while I try and crack a glossy half-smile but wind up looking constipated.

Abandon ship, the idiots are winning #Brexit

The internet's great for a lot of things, but alas productive discussion isn't one of them. In the wake of yesterday's colossal political fuck up which saw us opt to leave the EU (well done, idiots) I've came to the conclusion that a lot of people should delete all forms of social media, close their … Continue reading Abandon ship, the idiots are winning #Brexit