Later this week, millions of people across the country will come together to celebrate the crippling, ball-booting farce known as Valentine’s Day. They’ll express their love by sending flowers, booking overpriced restaurants and splattering stomach churning posts all over your social media feeds. Those bastards. Valentine’s Day, the only national occasion dedicated to mental illness. … Continue reading Un-Valentine’s Day
For gay men, dating can be a tricky thing. Generally speaking, the guy you want to stick around never does, and the ones you don’t want to see again spend the next four months trying to shoehorn their way back into your life. First dates are even trickier still: drawn-out silences, waiting for his first … Continue reading The Curse of Sex on the First Date.
As a child, I never pictured the adult me saving lives or battling it out in courtrooms as a hotshot lawyer; nor did I didn’t imagine myself venturing to other planets and having a good ole time – at least not alone. Instead when I pictured myself doing, well, anything it was always with someone … Continue reading Single as F*ck.
You know when you’re walking along, enjoying the sun, and you see a little bee buzz by before it delicately lands on a flourishing flower and you think, ‘yeah, little buddy. That’s exactly where you’re meant to be!’ Well, that’s how God feels when He sees me crying in the bathroom of Taco La Bamba. … Continue reading HTRE – Part 1: The Collapse of Mental Stability Never Felt so Funny.
There have been a lot of changes in my life lately; I’ve got a new job, I’m in a relationship, I started watching GBBO…Yes, a lot of changes crammed into a very minuscule amount of time. As welcome as these changes are, they have of course triggered me – what doesn’t trigger me, right? – … Continue reading I Need a Holiday
The first time I waddled into a gay bar I was immediately thrust out of my comfort zone. At the time my eardrum was punctured, so I said ‘what?’ a lot and my English sounded broken. I wore ill-fitting vests that hung like a potato sack over my body and every guy I encountered looked … Continue reading Straight Women & Gay Bars
During his speech at the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump made a rare overture to the LGBTQ community. ‘As president, I will do everything in my power to protect LGBTQ citizens from the violence and oppression of a hateful foreign ideology,’ Trump said to a room which soon filled with applause. Then he went off … Continue reading Nice rights you got there…
The following are things I’ve said and/or written down on recent nights out. Yet still I drink. Gays can sense other gays. It’s like when you’ve petted another dog and your dog just knows. Let it be noted that sober Topher went out on his own volition and regrets everything. I hate meeting ‘Twitter gays’ … Continue reading Unlikely Things I’ve Said on a Night Out
I have spent the last week fleeing from reality, like a child from the monster under his bed. This is a trait I employ whenever anything threatens to get too real. It’s a trait that’s necessary, redundant and embarrassing. When I feel like this I am rendered unable to explore the world beyond my flat. … Continue reading Why Can’t I Look Like That? – My Instagram Obsession.